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huh, lame x menaip kat cni.. lame gak xmengarut..

currently agak stress dgn marathon test yg mendatang.. huh, ak mmg akan jd gile skejap bile mikir kn test yg brderet tu.. pasal bende ni jugak yg menyebabkn ak demam dekat 2 minggu.. sbb dh dpt tau agak awal yg ktorg akn buat marathon lg skali.. bile bende ni dtg mule la kpale otak ni kate dh 'fed-up' nk study la, nk surrender la, ape la... pastu ko dok lg kat planet tu!! wth!! xpaham btol, ape pn xboleh (tagline mr. jeneral-penaja ak pny pengajian a.k.a daddy cool)...

dulu sebok kate nk angkat kaki, tp dok lg kat planet tu.. mmg btul ak klau buleh mmg nak lari, tp kat mane lg ak nk lari.. unisza je nk amek ak smbung study.. ko nk keje?? brape sen la ko dpt?? hmmmm, masih degil nk troskn hidup kat planet tu... sedar ke x ak nih?? do u really deserve to join them??? omg... ak mcm alien sudaaaaah... mmg ak xbrape nk perform dlm planet tu, im totally different among them.. thats why la im the alien in the class.. slalu tertinggal dan ditinggalkan, so ak pn meninggalkan lah (dont ask me why, u knew the answer).. ak xkesah, i deserved to get all that.. btw, i hate science very well since i knew the word 'science'.. so maaf kn ak klau ak dh menjatuhkan name planet korang.. ak xsanggup sbenar ny  nk biskn sisa2x hidup kat planet tu tp ak nk troskn juge..

tp stiap orang ade rezki masing2x.. ak xsalahkn sesape klau korang can perform very2x well pastu dpt sponsorship.. itu kelemahan ak bile join planet nih.. klau semue orang sama, xbest la.. x adventure kn3x!!! so, smentare ade yg sanggup tanggung ak study ak akan tros kn atas permintaan dan harapan mereka dan mase depan ak.. xsalah klau study bukan atas tajaan @ pinjaman tp gune duit mak dgn ayah.. ade rezki gune la, klau Allah tarik balik baru tau!! bg ak ni isu sensitip.. xpyh la nk highlight 1 planet, kemudahan yg ak dpt ni atas usaha keras mak dgn ayah membanting tulang mase besar kn ktorg dulu.. dyorg keje, keje dan keje.. ak bersyukur ade yg sudi menaja ak pny diploma, bkn mak dgn ayah (pihak MARA), so ringan la ckit beban mak dgn ayah.. dh seme adik-beradik masih belajar.. rezki anak2x la kate kn.. 

korg ingat best ke bile bangun pagi nk p skola mak yg kelam kabut siap kn semue.. ayah dh p keje awal2x.. ktorg kluar p skola mak pn kluar skali p keje.. kadang2x tu bile dh balik skola, mak pn xblik lg.. huh, rumah tu mcm tmpt transit je.. pg p skola, tgh hari blik pastu siap nk p sambung skola petang plak, malam ngaji, xpun p tuisyen, blik dh penat tros tdo.. w/end ade klas ko-ko.. dlm sehari brape jam je dpt tgk muke dyorg nih.. bile dh besar sambung study, masing2x dpt offer jaoh2x.. hmmmm, ingat kamu dalam doaku saje la... nk balik shah alam laaaa.. wpn ak xsuke pilihan dyorg tp ak nak dan akan troskn.. xkn nk jd anak yg xkenang budi.. gile?? masok neraka nnt...

rase ny duit belanje korang lg bnyk kot??? tp jgn la saving sgt.. utk mendapat lebih ak xbuleh mgharap kat mak dgn ayah.. syukur ade duit makan.. so ak ade inisiatif sendri utk dpt kn lebih.. pandai2x la carik peluang utk carik duit lebih.. ikat perot ckit utk buat modal meniage.. alhamdulillah family support perjuangan and dr segi financial ckit, and dyorg xmarah asal jgn lupe tanggungjawab kat planet tu sudah.. ak jumpe dah peluang tu, and ak dpt ape yg ak nk.. manfaat kn skill yg lame trpendam, tp jgn la banding kn pulak, setiap orang ade kelebihan masing2x.. cari dan manfaat kn laaaa... bnykkn memberi pastu insyaAllah, Allah akan balas.. lebih bnyk kite memberi lebih bnyk kite akan menerima.. bile korang terlalu kedekut, xmustahil Allah pun akan berkedekut dgn korang.. ingat, bukan korang je yg boleh ber-kedekut.. ak syukur sgt rezki ak xputus.. klau kite nk 'memberi', mghrp utk dibalas tu xsalah.. tp jgn terlalu mgharap utk dibalas.. pastu ungkit kat merate-rate.. ikhlas kn diri.. klau asik nk mengungkit Allah pun xsuke kot??  insyaAllah rezki xputus.. bkn nk bangge diri, rase ny ade betul ny..try la!! =)

ak mgharap kn Allah tetap kn hati ak utk trime segale ny.. biar pun ditinggalkan mahupun dilupakan kadang2x terabai, ak akan tros tetap kn hati tros kn perjalanan hidup yg ak rase mmg utk ak.. wpn pahit ak mamah juge.. hidup xselalu ny dibawah.. ak dh merase mcm mane rase down giler bile result hancur mcm 'mash feed' (mknn ayam- blaja dlm klas feed and feeding).. tp lepas berjaya selepas kejatuhan baru lah dinamakan kejayaan.. yang 'di atas', kamu xkn slalu bernasib baik, Allah maha kaya..

so, sampai sini je la ak mengarut.. esk nk ngadap paper agrostology paper dr. izham yg dtg dr jauh, pit-stop ke-2 selepas test ko-ko badminton dlm kejohanan marathon kali ke-2 semester 4 nih.. wish me all d best.. doa kn segala ilmu yg ak study berkesan dan dpt di-apply mase test and sepanjang ak meneroskan hidup yg penuh liku-liku, kemarau, onak dan duri, ombak dan badai, xlupe tsunami yg melanda di planet ni.. huh, panjang ny.. k, may u have a nice day dgn hati yg terbuke!! chow and salam....

if u could see the other side of me..

today,

i just wanted to share this song with the others, 

telling what im feelin right now..

YOU ALWAYS FIND YOUR WAY BACK HOME - MILEY CYRUS @ HANNAH MONTANA

You wake up it's raining and its Monday
looks like one of those rough days
times up your late again so get out the door
sometimes you feel like running
find a whole new life and jump in
let go get up and hit the dance floor
when the lights go down its the ending of the show
and your feeling like you've got no where to go
don't you know 

(chorus)

you can change your hair. you can change clothes
you can change your mind , thats just the way it goes
you can say goodbye and you can say hello
but you'll always find your way back home
you can change your style you can change your jeans
you can learn to fly and you chase your dreams
you can laugh and cry but everybody knows
you'll always find your way back home

your best friends your little home town
waiting up where ever you go now
you know that you can always turn around
cuz' this world is big and its crazy
and this girl is thinking that maybe
that this life is what some people dream about
cuz' when I'm feeling down
and I'm all alone
I've always got a place were i can go
cuz' i know

(chorus)

you can change your hair. you can change clothes
you can change your mind , thats just the way it goes
you can say goodbye and you can say hello
but you'll always find your way back home
you can change your style you can change your jeans

you can learn to fly and you chase your dreams
you can laugh and cry but everybody knows
you'll always find your way back home

and they know exactly who you are
where the real you is a superstar
you know its never to far away

you can change your hair. you can change clothes
you can change your mind , thats just the way it goes
you can say goodbye and you can say hello
but you'll always find your way back home

you can change your hair. you can change clothes
you can change your mind , thats just the way it goes
you can say goodbye and you can say hello
but you'll always find your way back home

you can change your style you can change your jeans
you can learn to fly and you chase your dreams
you can laugh and cry but everybody knows
you'll always find your way back home

*huh, what a long, long day.. just get burnt after planting some grasses for my agrostology practical class.. tomorrow need to facing another practical class and keep going to have my practical classes for this week.. s u soon, may Allah bless me.. miss my family sooooooooo much!! 

it is tough to be with u...

you, 

always make me cry at the end of the day,

blaming and pointing to innocent people,

cant accept the destiny day by day, 

although it is the best opportunity for me ...

 
but being with you,

im getting close with my brother,

sometime we cant have a word during at home,

maybe it is chance for me,

to build up our relation that we loss during our childhood,

you teach me how to appreciate people around me..

you,

make me fly away from family,

to find new family,

which always borrow their ears and shoulder when i need them.,

only Allah can pay it..

for my past, thanks for everything..

for my future, i hope for the best!!

~thanks to panda's geng kpmb (miss u so much!), geng animal planet (love u! >_<) and people around me..

~special thanks to my bro, sory boy im a little bit ego,*little bit?! it should be toooo ego.. i cant have this with my tounge...

~hehehehe, nnt ayah tny ko bg ak mkn ape plak smp ak boleh nk tulis mcm nih.. mesti dyorg pelik...

all d best for anything!